Pictures!

Top: James (in red) and John (in teal). Second: Flora (in light blue) and Ceci (in dark blue). This was before Flora was burned. Third: A lion walking past our safari car in Ngorongoro Crater. Bottom: Me at six in the morning with Kili in the back ground. I was at a lodge that is 10 thousand feet up the mountain (it's ~19,000 feet to the top).

More trauma at the orphanage

Neglect and abuse is commonplace at Upendo. Most of the time it is small, but frusterating things, like hitting the children. There are worse things, like never giving the children water. This week however, things have gotten serverely worse. on Tuesday we noticed that Ceci's twin, Flora wasn't with the other children. Ceci and Flora are about 18 months old and are the most adorable children in the world. They stand around looking mad at the world, even when they are happy.
It didn't take long to find Flora. She was in her crib in the girl's bedroom. Her arm had been burned. There was a blister the size of my fist sitting on top of her little hand. There were burns all the way up to her elbow. Upon seeing this we asked why she wasn't at the doctor. They said she didn't need a doctor, it wasn't infected. We tried to explain to them that it was going to get infected as soon as the blister popped, and she would probably die. They still refused to take the girl to the hospital, even with us offering to pay the fees. When we got back to CCS, we showed the staff here, and the volunteers who are nurses, the pictures of her arm. Needless to say, everyone agreed she needed to go to a hospital. Mama Grace, one of the people in charge of CCS here, called the orphanage and asked why they wouldn't take her to the hospital. They gave her the same answer, it is not infected, she will be fine.
They told us they were giving Flora antibiotics, pain killers and burn cream. The next day at work, I sat with Flora all day long. Dispite the excruitiating pain she must be feeling, she just sits there calmly, sucking her fingers and playing with a winnie the pooh doll. I assume she must be becoming numb to the pain. No one else was with Flora, and if me or another volunteer not sat with her, she would have been alone all day long. When they came to give Flora her pain killer, I found out what their idea of a pain killer is. Children's tylenol. She should be in a burn unit on morphine and they have her in a crib with an open wound and on children's tylenol. I have come across many things here in Africa that they do differently from America, and I have accepted many of them, either because it is their culture, or they don't have the means to do things the same way the western world does things. But this is not the case with Flora. They have hospitals. They have IV's. They have treatments for injuries like the one that Flora has. The Nuns at Upendo just refuse to give the child a chance at recieving this help.
Aside from the huge blister, there is absolutely no skin left on her forearm. We are still trying to piece together how she got burned in the first place. The story told to us by the nuns and care givers was a lie. They said that there was boiling water in a pot on the ground, and Flora wanted to play in it so she stuck her arm in it. We knew this was wrong from the beginning. If she felt the boiling water, she would not have kept going up to her elbow. So we thought maybe she fell into it. But then yesterday, I looked closer at her hand. The palm of her hand is not burned. So she didn't stick her hand into water. It was spilled on her. I've been trying for months now to give these people the benefit of the doubt, but it's reached the point that I can't anymore. I don't know why they would want to fight so much to keep this child from seeing a doctor, unless they are hiding something. The story they told us doesn't match up, and we have seen, and heard from the local Tanzanians that these Nuns and Caregivers just don't care about the children.
Yesterday after placement, we went back with a doctor. He brought medicine and was there for free. They said they didn't want to take her to a hospital so we brought them a doctor. The Nuns (one Tanzanian and one German) flipped out and yelled at us for 30 minutes about how we were bad people for interfering and we were saying they were bad people and we had no right to bring a doctor. They wouldn't let the doctor see Flora. They took the medicine, but claimed it was "The same thing we are already using" (which it is not). I doubt if they will use it. We have contacted a social service worker who is assigned to Upendo. We have plans to talk to the Tanzanian Bishop. We are not giving up, but despite this, it's a race against time for Flora. The blister has popped and she is living in an orphanage filled with sick children and bacteria, and the people in charge could care less if she lives or dies.
There is nothing to do now but wait for this long, slow weekend to pass, to see how she is on Monday. You all know I am not the most religious person in the world, but please pray for this girl. She needs it.

It's Time

I feel like it is time to let you in on a secret I've been harboring for the last four weeks. Their names are James and John, and they just turned 4 years old on June 22nd. They live at Upendo, and are fraternal twins. They have parents, but according to the care givers, their parents couldn't keep them because they are crazy (the parents that is). While I love all the children, and wish I could bring them all home, and find them good homes with loving familes, James and John have really captured my heart. I spend nearly all day with the two of them (amoung others, since there are usually about 10 kids per volunteer). John is more independant, he runs off and hedges bushes all day, and waters the grass (except when he gets caught by the real grounds keeper :p). James is more content to just sit with me and play silly games. James is the bully of the two, he acts tough around the other kids, but since he's warmed up to me, now he I can see that he really just wants love and attention like the rest of them, he's just hardened himself to the world, because of the unfortunate situation that being an orphan brings. I tried not to get attached, because I knew I shouldn't. But somehow it happened anyways, and now I'm struggling because I can't quite imagine leaving them here. No matter how many times I tell myself that I'm 18, and need to go to school and get a job and get married and then I can adopt some children, trying to picture what will happen to James and John keeps running through my head. I'm tired. I'm exhausted emotionally and physically, and I am starting to miss my parents, brother and dog a lot more now, but actually going home seems completely unfathomable right now, because I know I can't take them with me, and I know that becoming so attached to them will hurt them as well as me. Zeno and Zevy (who are probably getting adopted by Pete!) were very attached to Pete, and when he left Zevy completely stopped liking Mzungus (white people). She just today warmed up to me, 4 weeks after Pete left...she hasn't touched an Mzungu or allowed them to play with her for 4 weeks. And it makes perfect sense, if I had loving people coming in and being wonderful for a few weeks and then leaving forever, I think I'd stop getting close to them too. Anyways, those are my ramblings for today. Things are getting tougher because I get closer to James and John everyday and I also get closer to leaving them. Otherwise things here are great, and I love Tanzania more everyday. I wish you all could come see it. It's absolutely amazing. Nakupenda Hamna shida Maggie

a note about swahili for uncle al

Upenda is the root word meaning love/like. Kupenda makes it the verb, "to love" . Nina is basically saying "I"...Ni is one way to say I, and na just denotes that we are talking about present tense, so together it is ninakupenda...I have found however that in daily speech most people leave out the Ni and just say 'nakupenda', or ''nakutembea' (I am walking), or whatever it is they are saying.
It's a wonderful language, I am really enjoying learning it (although I haven't gotten as far as I would have liked).

The week

This week has been difficult. Many of the other volunteers have left, including the last person from my original group back in May. Upendo has been crazy, there is so much abuse that me and the other volunteers don't even know where to begin to try and change the way things are done. Other than that things have been good, I'm feeling good, although I did have Malaria two weeks ago. I'm continueing to improve my swahili, and I still love it here. I hope everything at home is going well, and I hope you all have fun at Marc and Amanda's wedding this weekend! I'm planning on going to Zanzibar and on another safari before I leave, and possibly a stay at a Maasai village (we'll see if I have enough time or not). I'll try to update more frequently, I just never get to the internet anymore it seems. Hakuna Shida Love Maggie

Happy 4th of July! and happy birthday uncle jerry, aunt daisy and kerri! I'll update more soon!